A ridiculous policy that lost my respect (and business)
Originally sent exclusively to The Letter subscribers on June 16th. Want to be the first to get my personal newsletter in your inbox every Monday at 7am? Subscribe for free here.
The other night I went to the O2 to see Lionel Richie; I’ve seen him loads.
Vegas, Colchester Football stadium and, of course, the O2.
This ridiculous overpriced marquee nestled in the heart of our capital with yellow cocktail sticks for statements - pushed me over the edge this weekend, and I’ll tell you for why in a moment.
Before I launch into my tirade, let me explain that I'm not against people making a living or a decent profit.
I’ve stayed in lovely hotels, dined at great restaurants and flown in style - laying down!
All of which came with exceptional service - so good, you could almost convince yourself it was value for money.
This weekend, for my birthday, I splashed the cash like I was Pablo Escobar.
One thing's for sure, birthdays as an adult are flipping expensive.
I was hoping for gifts that could fit inside a card, but people went for box based gifts as I cried paying the tab for our splurge this weekend.
I am truly grateful, though.
This weekend I took 38 of our nearest and dearest to the Ivy in London – the original one, not one of these masquerades that are popping up all over London like a teenager's acne attack.
A hefty chunk of change later, I felt no buyer's remorse.
Instead, I felt the love from a touching and memorable shindig as we danced our socks off and sang to merry heights until the small hours.
We got home just as the sun was waking up. Fantastic.
On to Sunday, our celebrations continued at Rules (London's oldest restaurant), which was better than sex.
I devoured that orgasmic plate of food they served up like it was my last.
Another hefty bill.
We then enjoyed London in the sunshine.
To top off the weekend's fun, we danced All Night Long to Lionel Richie.
As he graced the O2 and pulled 20,000 people into a mystical trance as he tickled the ivories - pure talent.
So dear reader, what’s my problem with the telecoms giant that is the O2 that dabbles in hospitality as a side hustle?
Well, frankly, the lack of hospitality and utter stupidity.
As we got our dancing toes ready, Mrs S sent me get two bottles of water and I desired a packet of Rowntree's Fruit Pastilles.
The response at the cashiers till, once I was handed my loot from Mr Personality (the cashier) : “That’s £13.50.”
No "Sir" or kindness, just "13.50".
My response: “Excuse me while I just check with my bank that this isn’t fraud.”
Whilst my posterior puckered, I realised I was about to pay £13.50 for two small bottles of water and a jelly-covered pack of sweets.
I was just getting over the fact that this water cost more than oil when they said: “You can’t keep the lid.”
This was a plastic bottle. With a plastic lid.
"Why"? I asked eagerly.
The response - "In case everyone throws the lids at Lionel".
Do what, I thought... you can keep the bottles, just not the lids!
My mind raced, I thought, I’m sorry, has some moron abandoned all common sense and actively tried to annoy the customers?
The next part of this chapter involves me channelling James Sinclair in a Cirque du Soleil tribute act, as I wrestled with the steepest stairs known to man, (my two waters now in cups as I thought it would be better than open bottles).
I was holding these cups like a newborn baby.
The management of the O2 come from "How to Annoy the Customer Ltd" - had decided, in all their wisdom, to give out cups that were just a little too small for the volume of water.
What about the Fruit Pastilles? I placed them in my mouth, attempting a terrible Pinocchio impression.
Now for the stairs - and I say stairs, but they’re more like a set of ladders up a very tall building.
I played a game of snakes and ladders through the crowds to find my seat, like walking a tightrope. L3245 and L3246 – my seats, I coached myself - don’t drop the flipping water and turn some poor soul into a swimming pool stastic.
By the time I got to my seat, L3245 - It was I who soaked, not from the water, but from the nervous sweat I'd worked up navigating what seemed like thousands of people with my stupid cups of water.
I sat down. No longer thirsty, and disappointed by the ratio of black and red fruit pastilles to all the other colours no one likes.
I then filled my cup with bleach and threw it at Lionel Richie! I bet they wish they gave me the flipping lid in the end.
10 out of 10 to the O2 for enforcing your stupid rules that ban you from having a lid.
The moral of the story: So many businesses prioritise convenience for themselves over the customer.
The O2 should source bottles with attached lids.
Stupid rules make me really dislike places, and stupid rules when I’m being ripped off make me hate them.
Next time, I’m off to Vegas, a city that understands hospitality whilst ripping you off.
The lesson - be more focused on the customer experience than business convenience.
Work out solutions.
Don’t punish 20,000 people because someone once threw a lid weighing the equivalent of seven ants.
Talking of expensive products, have you seen the price of Velcro? What a rip-off!
To your continued success,
James
PS. Business Masterclass is back this September. 2 days to fix cash flow headaches, hire better people, and win more customers.